Sugarman (2001) states that: ‘Whilst we may not control everything that happens to us, we can shape the meaning that we give to these events’.
This is also referred to as our narrative.
What is your narrative/life story?
How would your life story sound if it was told by your best friend?
What does the way you tell your story say about you?
That is not to say that you should change the way you interpret what has happened, but that you can work with it – when you are ready – and try to learn from it. But only when you are ready.
For example if you have been unfairly treated at work by your manager and as a consequence you have decided to quit your job, your narrative could be: ‘I was forced out, it really upset me’ or ‘I did not agree with the managerial style so I decided to take control of the situation and leave to seek new opportunities’. The two options feel very different to the individual choosing between them.